green light says go, now.
he carries it
silver and short
plasticity of the mother of pearl handle
revealed
celled
in the torn inside pocket
of the old black coat
hooded on the corner
snow mottles the streets
green light says go, now.
he crosses
steps taking snow with them
leaving patches of shiny blackness
to the next corner
and then
clusters of old black coats
herding by lamposts
newspaper spitting machines
sausage vendors
just the idea of a
crack
will scatter them
his eyes search
look for the scar
the fade
the NY cap with the worn edge
the missing teeth
the laughing-at-you smile
the I-know-you stop of the eyes
then brows bending like smudges
the green light says
go, now.
*the idea for the poem comes from this two word title that is a result of a word-pairing poetry exercise.
Mar 7, 2010
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love the images and attention to language--my only question is the use of the hyphenated phrases in the last stanza--they don't seem to fit against the other strong images. Just some tightening...like, instead of "the-laughing-at-you smile," something like, " the mock slit of a smile.../eyes locking in recognition..." Something tighter and sharp like your other language.
ReplyDeleteI think you broke through the block!
I hope so. Good suggestions, as always. It's good to have criticism that supplies a balance of good and bad and suggestions! I just read Rope Swing....you're completely amazing.
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